Tuesday, January 27, 2009

McRib Followup!!

I did it, I gave in to the temptation and I finally got my McRib!!
p.s. this is a commercial from 1991 for the McRib

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

When Will It Happen For Me?

For the last few weeks I have noticed that the McRib has been back at Mcdonald's. I lov the McRib, but lately I have had a lot of trouble actually being able to buy one. Its not like there arent 800 micky d's around here, all selling the McRib, I just cant do it! I have a very high school crush type of relationship with this sandwich.
When I find out that the Mcrib is back, I get excited, I call all my friends, and my Myspace and Facebook status will reflect this until it is gone. A few days into it I will make sure I drive by a McDonalds whenever I can, eventually I will work my way into the parking lot. Each day that passes brings more and more butterslies. I knew I had a real issue when I found myself driving through the drive-thu and as soon as I would get to the box, I get nervous and leave. Recently I walked into one a Mcdonalds, got to the counter, and orderes a fucking Mcnugget meal!
Today when I woke up I had very careful plas to do my laundry, tidy up my apartment, watch the innauguration, and go to Sprint to get my new phone, on the way sopping at McDonalds for this heavenly sensation! needless to say, just because i set the time in my schedule aside, does not mean I was not dedicated to the cause!!!
Oh Well, Maybe tomorrow!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

I Love (Loathe*) This Bar

So I am rediculously inconsistant when it comes to blogging, but I eventually will get to it!
I was working in-state on Friday, so I was home at a resonable enough time, I received a text message from Aimee, asking if I would be up for getting a few drinks at the ever-popular (only in small social circles) Sports Page. With no other plans in place I said "why the fuck not?!"
Upon walking into the door, and flashing my i.d. at the bouncer, I am met instantly with some petit woman in my arms, and her legs wrapped around my waist, like a baby koala on his mother. After wrigling around a bit, I could see that this creature who was so affectionately attacking me, was none other than long-lost BFF Danielle I havent seen this girl in so long, and we really do go WAY WAY WAY the fuck back! She was joined by her friend Emily, who has a stunningly gorgeous Dodge Challenger (which happens to be for sale!) Emily was a real cool kinda girl, at first quiet and shy, but just like a woman, or me for that matter, get a few drinks in her, and good to go!
All the usuals were at the bar, all the people who I notice, and they likely notice/ loathe me, and in typical fashion, my loud-ass friends and I were hooting, hollerin', taking shots, and pissing off the ULTRA serious dart shooters, to the point where you would have thought someone just kicked a puppy, and we were asked by one of them to move to another room. Noticing that we had over-stayed our welcome in that side of the bar (I should mention that seriously??? a bar?? you want peace and quiet, so you can shoot your darts in a sports bar?) we moved back to the "dining" side. its all just as well because it was crowded on the other side.
Jessica joined us promptly after work, and, well really thats about it. The imminent feeling of loserdom sank in, as it so often does in that particular bar, and we had a genius idea to saddle up, and head down to Caddy's. What was I thinking? after Halloween, I decided I would never go there again! There really is no place more desperate than Caddy's!
Upon walking in, of course my eyeballs were instanlty feeling like sandpaper, i began looking through a cloud of smoke, that closely resembled any smoggy morning in L.A., just to see who was there. The thing about Caddy's is, it is a place where all the most popular kids in high school go to die, and the age vary's from 21 to, well, one foot in the grave! Each person more smoky, and hammered than the next, the had (you'll neverr gues...) KAREOKE!! Really guys? Kareoke? is this 1997 in Key West? So during the Virginia suburban kareoke nightmare renditions of all the same crap you would expect (Respect, I Will Survive, and no shortage of super-aweful-crappy Nickleback) Danielle feels a good way to pass the time would be with a good ol' fashioned lapdance! (just like mamma used to make 'em!) And boy have you ever had such a lapdance! I quickly floated my gay ass up to the bar after my lapdance, and ordered a redbull and vodka, (I should mention that i dont particularly like redbull or vodka) and since I am not super redneck like everyone else there, it took a super long time for some service up in this bitch!! (this was also reflected in the tip) although, acording to the troll sitting alone at the bar, I was the cutest thing she had ever seen, My drink couldnt come quick enough, and I returned to my post on the floor in front of the kareoke nightmare, just in time to see Jessica getting her lapdance! at 1:15 Am the lights came on (last call is at 2 b.t.w.) and I was instantly sobered by the reminder of why i loathed this bar! We scurried to the parking lot, like so many cockroaches, and said our goodbye's, Henry came to get Jessica (her new fling that im likely not supposed to mention (ill refer anyone to my disclaimer)) and Aimee and I got in my car, ran into 7-11 for coffee, and whatever else we ate in the aisle before checking out, and went swiftly home. Planning on watching Postcards From the Edge, we both passed out in the couch, only to wake up to sub-freezing temperatures outside.

Danielle and I at the Sports Page

Danille, Emily, and I


Danille and Will (very excited bartender from the Sports Page)


Jessica getting her lapdance!


Groupshot!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Cleveland Rocks!

Since August of 2008, I have been working in Cleveland, Ohio every Monday and Friday. Naturally, at first, I was a bit nervous at the though of this scary scary city, Home of Bone Thugs "N Harmony, one of the highest murder rates in Ohio, and the North East, frightfully cold weather, and scariest of all, Drew Carey!! It was in November of 2008 that I was pistol whipped in the face, during an armed robbery at the Family Dollar store on Lake Shore Blvd, and 159th st. just a few weeks ago, it was a tropical -22 degrees and snowing, I felt like diving into the beach! Despite all this, I still find myself drawn to this place. I have some family members in neighboring Elyria, Oh and this week I stayed over to visit. The place was decent enough, and I began talks of perhaps a relocation.

I took it on myself to ask the locals what they thought of their town, no matter who you ask, the answer always starts off the same "We got a shitty football team!" most people agree "I hate the snow," or "Nothin up here!" seeing as I have a job already, and the cost of living is so much lower in Cleveland than it is in Richmond, I decided to find out what reasons I would have for a stint in the Cleve.

First if all, the "shitt football team" is of course the Browns, they are rather crappy, but still, Ive always wanted to live somewhere where I could go to a game, and do that whole thing. Then there is The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame... AWESOME!!! Lake Erie, which is like an Ocean to me! Cleveland is large city, whith a large gay community, And I think I could really see myself enjoying a year or 2 there!