Three Monkey's, And A Bowling Alley

No its not another crappy sitcom coming this fall. Yesterday was a triple birthday celebration. Terri, Nicole, and someone else, whom I don't really know, all celebrated their birthday's last night. Our night began with dinner, Terri, Aimee, Jessica, Cyndi and I all met up at 3Monkey's on Main St. for a fabulous dinner. we shared appetizers, and got some entrees, a few beers, and head on out for BOWLING!!


In typical fashion, the night progressed to take a more energetic tone. We arrived at the Shrader Lanes Bowling Alley, I must say, I hadn't been bowling in a long time, and I was expecting a smoky, trashy bowling joint, Not the case. Shrader Lanes is actually quite a nice place. We had a huge group by the time Nicole's party and the other group joined. and we quickly donned our shoes and balls, and got to work!


Pitchers, shots, and lots and lots of bowling. What a blast!!
Still, it doesnt end there! The ended at 1 a.m. not long after Nicole and Terri danced around to "Thriller" the Michael Jackson classic



Once again, in typical fashion, the night once again moved on. This time to Nicole and Kevin's house. Nicole, was passed out, but that didn't stop us from a good time. More drinks, and some various conversations, Steve serving Red Bull and Vodka, and eventually Steve and Kevin on the floor in a good ole fashioned Jujitsu match. I couldn't tell if it was more like watching UFC, or a mildly homo-erotic bonding ritual.






No matter your interpretation of how it all went down, how drunk you may have been, or to the fact that we were all up till at least 8 AM, there is no doubt that it was another truly sensational evening.
On a side note, who actually talks to the person at the urinal next to them in the mens room? I didnt think so!!!

Like Any Mardi Gras Party, Nobody Forgets The Guy With The Bird In His Hair

Holy shit. I went to the Mardi Gras party this weekend at Nicole's house. It was a damn good time. I am almost glad I didn't have a job to go to this week, because that could have been the absolute worst hangover ever. What more could you expect the morning after a party where an anatomically correct "female" cake is being falated and motor boated? That's right, motor boating a cake! We met up at Terri's house and donned our masks and I ended up with a bird in my hair! yes, a bird. I'm not sure why there was a bird, but my hair was a hot ass mess, so the bird did actually bring it all together! We hopped in the car and got to the party. I wasn't sure what to expect, but i knew it would be a good time. my goodness was it ever! that was such a lovely party. Never a worry about going hungry or thirsty. the "bar" was well appointed, and the food was truly decadent. Everyone was in a lively mood, with choice beads, masks, makeup, and a fur coat for good measure. I'm not sure how we planned our evening, but I'm quite sure we didn't plan to stay until 3:30 am like we did! I don't think I have ever gotten as drunk as I did, I started with beer, thinking it would just be a light evening. Of course as soon as i walked into the kitchen, before i could even turn the corner to see who was in there, there would be a shot in my hand. All I know is that there was a TON of red bull, of which i am not a fan at all! well I drank it, liked it, got devastatingly drunk, and definitely knew it the next day! Thank you to the Kessler's for throwing such a lovely party, and for finding my keys the next day!


Aimee and I in our masks


Steve motor boating the cake!







Nicole and Terri

A Dog Bit Your Face? what a lowsy birthday!

Well I just haven't really known how to address this particular evening on the town. But I can't not address! It was Saturday, February 14th, V-Day! Aimee, Jessica, and I decided, since we hadnt been to the city in so long, that we should hit up McCormacks. We arrived at our destination sometime around 11 p.m. and imediately started slamming hard liquor drinks. I told Mac about how I was laid off, and he suggested that I drink Long Beach Iced Tea's. Holy Jesus they really were effective!! It didnt take long before I realised I would not be very useful driving home! Anyways, moving right along. Danielle and her friend Emily were celebrating their birthdays and swung by Mac's for a few drinks too. I was sort of reluctant to hanging out with them, seeing as the last time we "ran into them" they slapped ALL of their drinks on MY TAB!! having just lost my job, I could not have that now. So Emily rushes right up to me and tells me "A dog bit my face!" I must have seemed like such an asshole because I just stared her down for a very icy moment. What do you say to that?! HELLO...!! we got to drinking, and the bar finally closed. I had never allowed myself to get so drunk in the city before, and it was a totally new experience for me. Plans were made between Jessica and Danielle, for all of us to meet up at Danielle's apartment, which is just down the road from mine. Sometime around 3 a.m. we get back to the suburbs, and I RAN across the green and up the stairs into Danielle's apartment, I was in a hurry to pass out! I knew the only real purpose in going there was so massive amount of coke could be consumed, and I really wanted NOTHING to do with that stupid ass shit. I had just made myself comfortable enough to die. and Jessica starts blowing up my cell phone, Aimee had faceplanted on the sidewalk, and Jessica needed help! We managed to steer a VERY intoxicated Aimee into the apartment, and really thats all I remember until I woke up the next morning, somehow in my own bed.
A follow up, Aimmee went to see her doctor, and due to her fall, she had a contusion, and water on her knee!!



Mac owner and most excelent bartender: McCormacks



Jessica and Danielle

I Love (Loathe*) This Bar

So I am rediculously inconsistant when it comes to blogging, but I eventually will get to it!
I was working in-state on Friday, so I was home at a resonable enough time, I received a text message from Aimee, asking if I would be up for getting a few drinks at the ever-popular (only in small social circles) Sports Page. With no other plans in place I said "why the fuck not?!"
Upon walking into the door, and flashing my i.d. at the bouncer, I am met instantly with some petit woman in my arms, and her legs wrapped around my waist, like a baby koala on his mother. After wrigling around a bit, I could see that this creature who was so affectionately attacking me, was none other than long-lost BFF Danielle I havent seen this girl in so long, and we really do go WAY WAY WAY the fuck back! She was joined by her friend Emily, who has a stunningly gorgeous Dodge Challenger (which happens to be for sale!) Emily was a real cool kinda girl, at first quiet and shy, but just like a woman, or me for that matter, get a few drinks in her, and good to go!
All the usuals were at the bar, all the people who I notice, and they likely notice/ loathe me, and in typical fashion, my loud-ass friends and I were hooting, hollerin', taking shots, and pissing off the ULTRA serious dart shooters, to the point where you would have thought someone just kicked a puppy, and we were asked by one of them to move to another room. Noticing that we had over-stayed our welcome in that side of the bar (I should mention that seriously??? a bar?? you want peace and quiet, so you can shoot your darts in a sports bar?) we moved back to the "dining" side. its all just as well because it was crowded on the other side.
Jessica joined us promptly after work, and, well really thats about it. The imminent feeling of loserdom sank in, as it so often does in that particular bar, and we had a genius idea to saddle up, and head down to Caddy's. What was I thinking? after Halloween, I decided I would never go there again! There really is no place more desperate than Caddy's!
Upon walking in, of course my eyeballs were instanlty feeling like sandpaper, i began looking through a cloud of smoke, that closely resembled any smoggy morning in L.A., just to see who was there. The thing about Caddy's is, it is a place where all the most popular kids in high school go to die, and the age vary's from 21 to, well, one foot in the grave! Each person more smoky, and hammered than the next, the had (you'll neverr gues...) KAREOKE!! Really guys? Kareoke? is this 1997 in Key West? So during the Virginia suburban kareoke nightmare renditions of all the same crap you would expect (Respect, I Will Survive, and no shortage of super-aweful-crappy Nickleback) Danielle feels a good way to pass the time would be with a good ol' fashioned lapdance! (just like mamma used to make 'em!) And boy have you ever had such a lapdance! I quickly floated my gay ass up to the bar after my lapdance, and ordered a redbull and vodka, (I should mention that i dont particularly like redbull or vodka) and since I am not super redneck like everyone else there, it took a super long time for some service up in this bitch!! (this was also reflected in the tip) although, acording to the troll sitting alone at the bar, I was the cutest thing she had ever seen, My drink couldnt come quick enough, and I returned to my post on the floor in front of the kareoke nightmare, just in time to see Jessica getting her lapdance! at 1:15 Am the lights came on (last call is at 2 b.t.w.) and I was instantly sobered by the reminder of why i loathed this bar! We scurried to the parking lot, like so many cockroaches, and said our goodbye's, Henry came to get Jessica (her new fling that im likely not supposed to mention (ill refer anyone to my disclaimer)) and Aimee and I got in my car, ran into 7-11 for coffee, and whatever else we ate in the aisle before checking out, and went swiftly home. Planning on watching Postcards From the Edge, we both passed out in the couch, only to wake up to sub-freezing temperatures outside.

Danielle and I at the Sports Page

Danille, Emily, and I


Danille and Will (very excited bartender from the Sports Page)


Jessica getting her lapdance!


Groupshot!

Halloween Madness!!

Well, well, well,

Another Halloween down, and what do we have to show for it? How much does it say to work for one company for more than a year, and I cant get Christmas off? But I sure did get Halloween!! Thats just fine by me. Originally, I had planned to have a small party at my new apartment, as a way to really get settled in, Haloween being my favorite holiday, I made it my personal goal to be fully moved in, and have everything in order just in time for Halloween, and I accomplished that goal. As the time got nearer though, I realised that I should probably not have a party, so as not to disturb the neighbors too much, and so I scaled back a bit, and ultimately the decision came down to just having the party at Terri's house, and going on from there.

Needless to say, this plan changed several more times, at one point we would do a bar crawl, or go to the city to party hop, or start here in the suburbs, and move to the city for bars and parties, and ultimately, it fell back on me. In the mix, most people got fed up, and just made other plans, so I was left with a lot of uncertainty regarding who would actually come. So just in case, I employed the help of our party planner to the stars, Mckinzie. She worked wonders with our tiny budget, and my tinier apartment, and really made it happen.

The faithfuls arrived, Heather and Zack, a sexy vampire, and top gunner



Terri, as Alaskan favorite V.p. candidate, Sarah Palin. I should preface this one by saying, I was a bit reluctant to see how this would work out, and assumed this would be one of the more common costumes of the year, but I must say, it really worked!

Aimee came by as a devil in disguise, she had this fabulous masquerade-type mask on, but I couldnt get her to keep it on for a pic

Jessica, as a refrigerator magnet

McKinzie and Jason as a whore, and Brett Favre

And me as a greaser, lookin ultra gay as always

So we had appetizers and drinks at my apartment, and watched Donnie Darko, and Beetleguise, before swinging by the Sports Page, which naturally was dead, and the Caddy's which i had never been to before, rightfully so. It actually was quite fun, but the smokiest damn place ive ever been.

so here are a few more pics from the evening.

Another debaucherous lesbian adventure

As is typical when my friend Krissy comes back to the RVA, we try to hang out together. When we actually do get together, WATCH THE EFF OUT!!
I should begin this story from the beginning I suppose.
Jessica and I were planning an evening out last saturday, and it started as always, meet up at my apartment, we eat and drink, and say "hmm, i wonder what we will do tonight?!" then it happened, Krissy called, and she told us she was here in the city!
Our night would begin at McCormacks Irish Pub where I was so excited, and totally shocked to see my old friend Danielle!! I haven't seen this girl in years, and we go wayyy back

we had a few drinks, and met up with a bunch of people. As always, the drinks were flowing and the night was getting off to a great start. until we decided to try to go somewhere else. Our little group was growing rapidly, and becoming quickly intoxicated. this never leads to organization. We established, after much deliberation, that we would go to Godfrey's, where most of us hadn't been in quite a while. While walking drunkly down 18th. towards my car, Krissy calls me to say that she wanted me to go back to Macs to find her hoody and phone, and bring it to Fall Out. "WHAA???" I do not go to Fall Out, that place is ridiculous, thank goodness something happend and the got trown out, or had to leave, or someting, and we continued with our regularly scheduled programing.

Once we arrived at Godfrey's, I was pleasently surprised to see that there was a respectable number of people there, as Saturday is not really the big night to go there. The drinking continued, and the scandal began. You should know you cant get a gaggle of lesbians together, and especially drinking, without some sort of scandal, and, or drama.










I should mention right now, that 2 of the women in these pictures, are coupled. together for a while as I understand, and have a lovely place together with pets as well, so basically, they are married. One more thing, they are not seen together in ANY of these pics. so last call, the lights come one, and we set out to their apartment. But no walk through the city would be complete without Krissy needing some relief.


So we get to the apartment, and the evening continues, where talking, dancing, and drinking continues.







So I had to leave early, and that really was that. But I heard the cops came to the apartment, and the debauchery ensued, nearly drama free! All in All, a good night!