How Do You Not Notice How Bad You Smell?

Saturday night, Im falling apart with bronchitis, and just an overall hot ass mess (H.A.M.) So of course that means it is time to go out on the town!! or well, at least another night out on the suburbs. So Aimee called me up to see if I wanted to join her at this bar in chester called Sidelines. Typically i have some ground rules about going out in the Richmond area, the first of which being, I DO NOT go south of Hull st. So I was thrilled at the idea of going to Chester (pretty south of Hull st)! I was enticed to join her by rumors of an 80's night. An 80's night at a sports bar in Chester?? I could not miss! WOW!! this was really something, it was as if I had stepped right into 1984, and Im not sure how much of the big hair, mullets, and super tacky clothes was costume! Aimee is friends with the bartender Cheryl. The bar happened to be throwing a birthday party for Cheryl and a few others, hence the 80's theme night. Cheryl was wearing a smashing rendition of something Madonna would have worn. We had reserved seats at the bar, and promptly claimed them, and got to the beer, Miller Lite for Aimee, and Bud Light for me. I noticed in this rather large crowd of patrons, a super fowl smell coming from somewhere on the other side of the room. the smell of NASTY FUNK!! It was overpowering, I was gagging, and there was no escape!! After nearly and hour I discovered the culprit, IT WAS A GAY!!! oh my god, no wonder there are bans on gay marriage, and why so many straight people think us gays are just wrong! THIS IS THEIR EXAMPLE! its bad when you go to a sports bar in Chester, VA and the scariest person in there is the only other gay, if the smell werent enough, maybe the flowing cascade of back hair, spilling over his shirt would be. This was really embarassing! He was dancing, and moving around, and kept getting closer and closer. He also had the "fag hags" with him. People have long joked that "fag hags" were just girls who were so lonely or whatever, that the only guys they would have would be some swishy gay guy, and that is that, well these girls really must have been the definative example of desperate. They werent horrible looking girls, so they must have just been so desperate for, and the very last in line to get a gay at the Gays R Us box sale. How was it that EVERYONE in the bar found this scent absolutely intolerable, and they were all over it? Well on to better things, there was a costume contest, which I must say, was very disapointing, there was a girl who looked just like Heather Duke as played by Shannen Doherty in the 1988 classic Heather's. But some other thing won it, I dont even remember who, cause her costume was that bad. But she got the loudest crowd response, leading me to believe she was probably just easy to get with. All in all, I had a really great time!!


Cheryl (bartender at Sidelines)